I just spent a few hours re-reading everything I've ever posted on this Xanga - and it made me realize - I'm not the person I used to be. I used to be so Christ-centered and focused on God - and lately, I haven't been. I miss who I used to be. My friend Celeste introduced me to a song by Brandon Heath. It's perfect.
I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
I used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt side too
But I'm not who I was
I found my way around
To forgiving you
Some time ago
But I never got to tell you so
I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh
You know, I'm not who I was
You were there, you were right above me
And I wonder if you ever loved me
Just for who I was
When the pain came back again
Like a bitter friend
It was all that I could do
To keep myself from blaming you
I reckon it's a funny thing
I figured out I can sing
Now I'm not who I was
I write about love and such
Maybe 'cause I want it so much
I'm not who I was
I was thinking maybe I
I should let you know
I am not the same
But I never did forget your name
Hello
Well the thing I find most amazing
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that's what love is all about
I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
Britney Spears’ friends are concerned she may be pregnant again. She
was on Depo-Provera but kept skipping appointments for the monthly shot
and claimed it was making her gain weight. (Oh, so that’s
what it was. Silly me. Thinking it was Taco Bell.) In the meantime,
Britney went on the birth-control pill, but she seems to have problems
with that as well, according to Life & Style magazine:
“She’s constantly forgetting where she put them and to
take them,” says the insider. “She seems to find it amusing — she
laughs at how scattered she is.”
And making matters worse, Britney’s been taking a mild prescription
stimulant, Provigil, which can decrease the effectiveness of oral
contraceptives.
To make matters worse, Britney has surprisingly been finding guys willing to sleep with her:
She’s slept with pal Sam Lutfi, some friends believe, and
her friend claims Britney and producer JR Rotem have been “hooking up.”
“When her friends ask if she’s being safe, Britney says it’s just
casual sex,” says the friend. “She seems to think that just because she
isn’t in a formal relationship, she’s somehow immune to getting
pregnant.”
It’s cute how Britney’s friends assume she’s somewhat familiar with
the reproductive system. As far as Britney’s concerned, every once in a
while, let’s say for about 8-9 months, she craves hamburgers and ice
cream a little more than usual. She puts on a few pounds and then, hey,
what do you know, there’s another kid running around. Did the stork
bring it? She doesn’t know. Nor does she have the time to find out.
Britney’s got a busy day not wearing clothes and driving her car
aimlessly on the highway. Except where is she going to put a third car
seat? Duh! The trunk.
Characteristics
of all four personality types can be found within each of us, but there
is almost always one personality type that is dominant. We call this
the major personality type.
The Chemistry Profile also
identifies your minor or secondary personality type. You exhibit some
aspects of this personality type, though not to the same degree as with
your major type.
Your major personality type = Builder
Your minor personality type = Negotiator
You are a BUILDER/negotiator
You are a wonderful friend and colleague. You are generally calm and
entertaining, and always dedicated and reliable. Just about everybody
likes you.
You have a traditional streak. Home, family, job and community are all
central to you. You like being firmly embedded in your social groups
and you feel deeply responsible for just about everyone around you. You
can be fiercely protective of those you love.
You are skilled at managing people. You are sympathetic and
cooperative; you are also hard working and display a good deal of
common sense. And you can be very patient. So you can complete
detailed, painstaking jobs more easily than most people.
You enjoy building social relationships. And you are skilled
at achieving solutions to sticky problems so that all involved feel
fulfilled.
You tend to be cautious but not fearful. You have a genuine sense of
community. So you seek projects that enable you to contribute to a more
stable world.
We
now know exactly what went down in court Monday when L.A .County
Superior Court Commissioner Scott Gordon stripped Britney Spears of
physical custody of Sean Preston and Jayden James.
As we first reported,
Britney didn't follow a number of conditions the Commish laid down. But
sources tell us three factors were the last straws for Gordon.
-
Britney was supposed to sign a document that would have given the green
light for a custody evaluator to conduct psychological evaluations.
Commissioner Gordon ordered Spears to get the signed document to Mark
Vincent Kaplan, K-Fed's lawyer, by Monday at 10:00 AM or appear in
court. She did neither.
- The judge ordered both Kevin and
Britney to submit proof they had valid California driver's licenses and
insurance. He also ordered that neither party drive with the children
if they didn't have the proper license. Over the weekend, TMZ posted
video of Spears driving with the kids in Malibu. She did not have a
California license and still doesn't. The TMZ posting was discussed in
court and the Commish was pissed off.
- The biggest reason for the change was Thursday night, Britney was at Sutra nightclub in Newport Beach. TMZ shot video inside the club.
Various people say they saw her drinking alcohol after midnight.
According to Gordon's order on September 17, neither Britney nor K-Fed
were allowed to consume alcohol within 12 hours of the time they
obtained physical custody of the kids. We know Britney picked the
children up at 12 noon on Friday, which means she would have violated
Gordon's order.
In short, Gordon was ticked off that Britney thumbed her nose at the court. Stay tuned.
Britney Spears met with MTV execs and presented them with an opening act for the upcoming Video Music Awards. Criss Angel helped design the performance that Britney hopes will return her to the forefront of modern pop. US Magazine reports:
“She’s planning it to be a big comeback performance,”
says a Spears insider, who adds that the goal is to make it “shocking.”
One early idea that was canned? Performing “My Prerogative” amid a
medley of hits, as images of exes Justin Timberlake, 26, and Kevin Federline,
29, and other gossip fodder flashed on a screen behind her. As for a
report that she’d do a duet with Timberlake? “Totally, patently false,”
says a Timberlake source.
You know what would be a really shocking performance? If MTV showed
a video of Britney Spears staying at home, tending to her children and
basically acting like a human being with normal maternal instincts.
Nobody gets dropped or used for an ashtray. Child services doesn’t stop
by. And most importantly, no one sees up Britney’s skirt. Will she and Criss Angel
go that route? Probably not. She’s going to pull a rabbit out of a hat
and gyrate on stage until it dies. Criss Angel will jump out of
Britney’s leotard and yell “Abracadabra!” prompting your TV
to self-destruct. It might be made out of circuits and metal, but darn it if it doesn’t have a heart and won’t let you suffer.
We
now know exactly what went down in court Monday when L.A .County
Superior Court Commissioner Scott Gordon stripped Britney Spears of
physical custody of Sean Preston and Jayden James.
